Well, I haven't posted in a couple weeks. My grandpa became very ill the very night of my last post. He is 83 years old. He came down with an infection in his lungs because he tends to aspirate his food (everything he eats ends up being breathed into his lungs). So, he was on the ventilator and became well enough to get off of that. Now it is found out that he can't eat anything at all because he does not swallow properly. So he has been laying in that hospital bed with IV's all over him and his oxygen on, not being able to eat. He can't drink anything either and his mouth has been terribly dry.
Now today the doctor called and told me he needs to be put on the ventilator again and asked for my consent. He does have a living will and in that will he does not want to be sustained if he is in a permanently unconcsious state. Such a hard, impossible decision to make. My uncle wants him sustained for as long as possible to be sure there is no chance of recovery, which is absolutely understandable, but I think it is has come to that point. They are putting a tracheotomy in him today and after that, I think the feeding tube in his stomach. My uncle does not want to accept the fact that this may be it. His anger is directed towards the doctors and the nurses saying that they are not doing all they could be doing. I understand, I do. I just don't want to be putting my grandpa in such terrible situations either. It was his wish to only be sustained once. But my uncle, he doesn't want to let go and I just can't bring myself to go against him. I mean, eventually the anger has to fade, reality has to sink in and acceptance needs to take over. But it is his dad - it is hard to let go.