Diabetes Can't

Saddened by Virginia Tech Tragedy

2007-04-19T09:49:00.000-04:00

First, I have to say how saddened I am about the tragedy at Virginia Tech. Just thinking about those that lost their lives, sitting in a college classroom to better their lives, hits me pretty hard. Our daughter attends college and it shouldn't be a scary thing. I know they say that there is a better chance of the moon falling to the earth than something like that happenening - but it does happen. And I don't remember the moon ever falling to the earth. So, anyways, my heart goes out to all that are suffering.

The media really needs to stop giving so much attention to these criminals. I mean, the criminals are mailing videos and pictures to news stations because they know attention will be given. Maybe if we stop watching and stop giving attention, they will soon realize that is one thing that will not come from their crime. They are given nicknames and the disturbing videos are shown on every channel. If the videos and pictures weren't shown, I wouldn't miss them. But the news stations need their viewers so they each try to outdo the other. And then there are the curious that want to see these pictures and the criminals themselves watch and get ideas of their own. In our city, two seperate school lockdowns have occured within two days. I know the attention to these crimes would never stop. It has gone on for decades and will continue for decades more. I think ALL the attention should be given to the victims, period.

Acceptance

2007-03-16T11:00:00.000-04:00

When you were little, acceptance was all you knew. You had to accept what was given to you because you didn't know any better. You were vulnerable, just a child. You had to accept good things and bad things and you adjusted yourself for those things so that you could continue on, happily.

I have been asked some questions lately regarding my diabetes from co-workers because I attended a Customer Service Training Session which included a luncheon afterward. I didn't attend the luncheon simply because I had to go home for lunch because my daughter was getting ready to head to Florida for spring break (ahhhh!). Anyways, the co-worker I was talking to also knew I had diabetes and since the subject was food, she asked how I was doing with my diabetes. She told me she would never even think that I had it and I asked why. She told me that I never mention it and never seem down about it and she knows several other people with diabetes who have a real problem with it.

This brings me to the title of by blog, Acceptance. I was diagnosed about six years ago. My doctor very casually told me, "You have diabetes." Handed me some paperwork, told me to take these pills and check back with him in a week. I was devasted. I cried all the way home. I didn't know what to eat or what to expect at all. Fastforward to about a year after that day, when I was finally diagnosed as Type 1, I realized that this is just the way it is going to be. There is no changing this. I have to watch what I eat. I have to do these shots. I have to prick my finger ten plus times a day to watch my sugar levels. It could be worse. So, this is ALL I have to do? Yes. This is ALL I have to do. Sure, it can get in the way when I have to put a halt to everything I am doing so I can check my sugar to make sure everything is fine, but, I HAVE to. That's all there is to it. Acceptance. I have accepted it as part of my life. It is a part of me. A pretty small part actually. So, I continue on, HAPPILY.

Winter, Winter go away........

2007-02-21T13:55:00.000-05:00

Diabetes can't really get me down, but adding onto diabetes with little things that aren't so great has got me down a little. I went to the doc yesterday and he told me something I already knew but haven't really put much thought into it. He told me I have something called Right Bundle Branch Block. Strange name....it's when the wiring in the heart is just a little different. The "electrical currents" take a different route than they normally should. He didn't want to tell me not because it's bad but because it is nothing to worry about at all and a normal healthy heart can have it as well. Soooo......I'm not worrying about it...or am I? I am a little. He is scheduling me for an ultrasoud of the heart and a stress test just to rule anything out. That's good. I don't have symptoms of anything and I only went to the cardiologist because my heart seems to have this sensation of beating really hard, especially at night. Not skipping beats or irregular or anything, just hard.

And then my husband has been home from work for the last week (thank goodness for Aflac), because he had an episode of losing vision for a split second and then a headache and dizziness. The dizziness hasn't gone away and that is why he has been home. He has been getting a bunch of different tests done from MRI's to a Carotid Artery Test. The MRI and Cat Scan have come back fine so that is good. His mom is recovering from a double bypass in a nursing home that she calls dispicable. In my opinion, any nursing home is not great but she will only be there for a week and she is doing good. Does winter bring out all the illnesses, not to mention the lazies?

I can finally see our driveway which has been hidden away under all the ice and snow. I can't wait to see the grass! With all of this going on, my sugar levels have actually been pretty good.

So, with all due respect, winter.......could you just go away?

Handy Little "free" Boxes

2007-02-01T13:41:00.000-05:00

Does anyone keep their insulin in the boxes they came in after opening them? I do. I find it is alot easier to tell which one to grab when reaching in the fridge, at any time of the day. Even when carrying my Humalog to work and back, the box is very handy and keeps it nice and safe. I have seen the colorful pretty little vial protectors, and they seem very nice, but I just prefer the box. Especially when they are being sold for $10 a pair when it probably would take $2 to make. Don't get me wrong, they are probably very handy for kids when they carry their insulin so that it just plain looks better. I would want them if I were a kid. They are pretty cool looking. Anyways, I would forget which one I put in which color protector and I would have to keep pulling the vial out to check! Oh well...

I am tired of winter. I have the winter lazies. I have started Pilates at home with my daughter. She really motivates me to do those painful body movements three times a week now! I am up to 20 minutes at a time and hopefully, if I can keep this up, I will be up to the full 45 minutes soon! Tonight I walk my 45 minute paper route - it is just too cold for that though. I enjoy the exercise but 24 degrees.......I can do it! I might need to grab me a cup of afternoon java to get through this day. Yea, the winter lazies grab me at work too!

Scary Stuff

2007-01-31T10:20:00.000-05:00

Okay, I admit it. I'm scared. I am so scared of a hypo that I have kept my sugars too high alot of times. Especially before bed. Even though I set my alarm for 1:30am every night, I still wonder, "Will I wake up if my sugar goes too low?", "Will I die?" Hypo unawareness really scares me. I have had diabetes for about five years now and I can still pretty much tell when my sugar is dropping but sometimes I check and it will be down to 45 and I will have had no symptoms at all. My schedule is very routine and I usually know when to check; before breakfast, then around 10am, before lunch, then around 2pm, before dinner, and then around 9pm.........it's those in-between times that get us all. I will check probably 3-4 extra times in-between just to be sure nothing "strange" is going on. The weekends are somewhat of a challenge because my normal routine is much different. More lax I guess. When I clean my house on Sundays, I can't keep my sugar up and end up drinking a sugary soda thoughout the whole day. Cleaning the house and grocery shopping are good things to do to get your sugar down!

I tried the Extend Bars a couple nights ago. My sugar was 95 before bed. I wanted to see if the nutty chalky tasting bar would level my sugars out overnight. Well, I checked again after about 45 minutes of eating it and my reading was 215! Okay, it's not supposed to give you a big spike as it says it only has 2 grams of fact acting carb. So........needles to say, I don't think those work very well for me. Dinner was nothing that would have hit me later so I contribute all the rise in sugar to the Extend Bar.

How Stange

2006-12-15T10:37:00.000-05:00

I was reading the book I mentioned, "Cheating Destiny", last night. All cuddled up in bed, nice warm and cozy with a sugar reading of 156. That's fine for my before bed reading. Also, take note that I usually don't read these kinds of books because they tend to scare me a little and they can be quite depressing. I was reading about the author's child and how he was diagnosed with diabetes. I was reading about lows and the effects they have on the body and what happens if you go severely low. I started to feel anxious. I know my sugar probably couldn't have went too low in the matter of twenty minutes since I last checked. My heart started pounded too hard and I felt dizzy. I grabbed my meter pretty fast because I thought I was going really low.......from the symptoms I was having, I was thinking my sugar must have dropped into the 40's. Check it, wait, Oh Cripes.......wait...five seconds seems like a freakin' eternity - my sugar is still in the 150's. I check it again, just to be sure, and it is the same. I layed in bed trying to relax and wondering why I felt this way. It seems, reading that damn book gave me an anxiety attack. Reading about how your body SHOULD wake you up if you go too low and how your body should kick some glucose in if you start to go way too low - just reading all that scary stuff made me anxious. Now I really, honestly know why I DO NOT want to read these books. I sat the book on my nightstand, looking at it, shaking my head, and wondering why anyone wants to read about such depressing things. I will stick to the facts and read them when I need to, I guess. No more book for me! It would be like having cancer, getting a book about it, and then reading about all the terrible things that COULD happen to you. That's okay. I pass.

Anyways, one great point from the book that I just don't understand is why, WHY!!! are foods that are unhealthy so cheap and foods that are healthy for us cost so much more!!!! It really tends to piss me off. The potato chips with all the unhealthy trans fats cost about $2.50 a bag. The Baked Lay's are almost $4 a bag! And then we are soooo freakin' concerned about obesity and diabetes in this country. And, in my opinion, that is price gouging(Hello? against the law, right?). The good cuts of meat are $4 a pound and the meat with all the disgusting fats is like $2 a pound. People on very fixed incomes cannot eat the healthy way they may want to; therefore, they become unhealthy, and they might not have health insurance because they can't afford that (which is an entirely new story) and BAM! Health costs skyrocket for the entire country! It is like everyone has a hidden agenda. Don't let anyone really be able to afford healthy food because they might actually lose weight and become healthy and then what will happen!? Could you imagine if that bag of Baked Lay's cost $2.50 and the uhealthy bag of chips cost $4? Oh NO! I would have to buy the Baked Lays!!!!!! The government REALLY needs to get a damn clue!

My vent for the week! ; )

Thinking Back...

2006-12-13T09:03:00.000-05:00

Well, actually, alot of things have happened since May now that I think more about it. My grandpa did pass away on September 11th at around 10:10pm. We had just came home from visiting him about two hours before. The nursing home had taken him off the ventilator. Last time they did this for that long, his heart stopped and they had to revive him. The nurse told me it was a horrible thing to have to do to him with everyone all over him, pumping his chest, etc. It was at that point I put in the DNR (Do not Resuscitate) order. Most of my family wanted this done in the first place but his son was having a problem with it. Anyways, the night he passed, he had been off of the ventilator all day. He didn't look real good while we were there but he was always smiling and holding our hands. As we were leaving I just looked at my husband and said, "This is gonna be it. He's not going to make it through the night." I didn't know what I could do though. They were trying to wean him off the ventilator so I figured they were doing the right thing. He was 83 years old. He was my only Papaw and will be forever.

Also, we had a new house built and we have been in it for about 2-1/2 months now. Our master bedroom is downstairs and the first thing my husband said when we saw the floor plan was, "you won't have to run downstairs if you have low sugar in the middle of the night!" True, so true! Good example was last night. I woke up at about 2:30am and felt a little shaky. Reached for my monitor which was in it's trusty little place on my nightstand, checked my sugar and the reading was 66. Not too bad but I went out to get a small glass of milk just in case. I opened the fridge and just stared into it for what seemed like 5-10 minutes until I realized what I was doing. Low sugars in the middle of the night make me do some strange things because I just feel so extra groggy and out of it. So, finally, I drank my milk and shuffled my little tootsies back to bed.

When I woke up this morning my sugar was 141. I have a hard time with the dawn syndrome thingie-ma-jig so that reading is actually pretty good for me. So, I have my sandwich and my orange and banana for lunch. And my treat which I have about once a week.......Hershey's with Almonds. My favorite candy bar -- No, I cannot seem to resist that little brown wrapper peeking out at me from the vending machine at work. Winking at me and just coaxing me to put in that 65 cents and take him back to my office. So, I do with no regret. And, boy, do I enjoy it! I break it apart piece by piece and eat it oh-so-slowly letting the milk chocolaty flavor melt in my mouth. If anyone was watching me they would think I had never, ever eaten anything like it in my life. Now, if I didn't have diabetes, these tiny litle pleasures would not have much significance. I probably would have just gobbled it down with no thought. So, thank you once again, Diabetes, for showing me how to truly enjoy my chocolate! ;)

Shoot First.....

2006-12-12T13:00:00.000-05:00

May? Are you kidding me...that is the last time I posted? Wow! Just not much to blog about I guess. The daily rituals, the lows, the highs....I guess it all got kinda boring for me. It all is getting to be such habit now that I can't find anything new to blog about.

I need to do a little better with my A1c, as my last doctor appointment confirmed. The results came back with a comment from the doctor, "Your diabetic control is good and we will see you back in six months." Good? The result was a 7.3! Now I consider that maybe, okay -- but, good. Not in my book. In my book, a 6.5 or lower would be good. Under 6 would be great. I am really striving for that this time. One of the biggest obstacles I will need to overcome is after meal dosing. I don't know why I wait really. I don't even think about it. I just sit down to eat and then half way through, I think, "Ummm...I really should do my shot." I mostly do this with dinner which is when my sugars run the highest so I have no clue why I continue to repeat this habit.

I am reading a book called "Cheating Destiny" by James S. Hirsch. So far, this book has reminded me why I do NOT read books related to diabetes. It has been depressing although very informative, talking about the history of the disease and the invention of insulin. The things people had to go through when diagnosed was just unthinkable especially with all the advancements we have had with diabetes treatments today. I just don't like to read about it all. I am guessing because it reminds me of how really serious this disease is. How scary it can really be. Soooo.....I am reading it anyways. Maybe, just maybe, it will talk me into doing those shots before I sit down to eat.

What? No it can't!

2006-05-26T09:04:00.000-04:00

I was watching the Early Show on CBS this morning and they were talking about Diabetes and how many in the United States don't even know that they have it. Great informative story EXCEPT, it seems that whenever Diabetes is discussed, they do not distinguish between the two VERY different types. Type 1 and Type 2. The Endocronologist was stating the risk factors that may lead to Diabetes. Weight, age, sedentary lifestyle..........No, sorry - not type 1 risk factors. Then she mentioned that Diabetes CAN be prevented by exercise and a healthy diet....No, sorry - type 1 cannot be prevented. Why can't they just seperate the two types? If someone who actually BELIEVED this story, was diagnosed with Type 1 after they heard it, they would be very confused. Especially if they were at a good weight and lived a healthy lifestyle, such as me, at my diagnosis. Is it just easier to say Diabetes, instead of the lengthy term (note sarcasm), Diabetes Type 1 or 2? I checked out the website and in the written article, it does state Type 2 in one part. And, the video did mention Type 2 as well, however, the interview did not indicate which Type they were talking about most of the time.

OOOOPS! Did I do that?

2006-05-11T14:35:00.000-04:00

I had a wonderful Tuesday night. Started off watching my faves - American Idol and Scrubs. Sad to see Chris go but I know we will be seeing and hearing ALOT more from him. Scrubs was hilarious as usual. I go into the kitchen to do my Lantus shot. The cat is brushing up against my legs, my husband asked me to bring him his pop - I am doing my shot. All's well. I walk into the living room and hand my husband his pop and in the other hand I have a bag of cat treats and my HUMALOG! Why do I have my Humalog in my hand? Why? Did I just shoot 14 units of Humalog? Why else would I have it in my hand.......aside from wondering why I have carried it into the living room with me, I panicked! I checked my sugar. 167. Kinda high for before bed. Then I thought "It is a damn good thing I accidentally carried that vial into the living room with me, otherwise, I would never have known I shot the Humalog instead of the Lantus." I waited about 10 minutes just to be sure I didn't just grab the Humalog when I put the Lantus back for some reason. Nope. Sugar dropped 50 points in 15 minutes.

Off to the fridge I go. I was kinda scared that I wouldn't be able to keep up with it. I thought that my level would bottom out before I got enough sugar in me. So I started with a glass of OJ with a tablespoon of sugar in it. Then another. I checked again and it had come up to 138. I calmed down a little.....waited....checked again after 15 minutes and it was back down to 100. I ate a big bowl of cereal and then felt like I was gonna hurl. I was really bloated from all the juice and milk. Blah! I drank one more glass of OJ and checked again and it was, by that time, up to 155. I felt miserable - waited a while and then did my Lantus shot. I missed work yesterday though because I was up half the night scared that it would drop again. Plus, I used the restroom quite alot after all that juice!

I guess this serves as a great reminder to check and double check that vial before you do your shot! I know I will.

Lantus ... Expired?

2006-05-04T14:06:00.001-04:00

My sugars were creeping up on me the past week or so. I was wondering why until I finally looked at the date on my vial of Lantus. 3/22/06. Hmmmmm....that means one month would have been up at 4/22 and today is 5/2! I normally use my Lantus about a week after it's expiration date of "28 days after opening", but this time I went a little longer just because, well, I forgot. So, last night I used my new vial and instead of waking up in the 190's like I had been the past week, I was about 124. Ahhh...much better. I really didn't believe, or didn't want to believe, that expiration date because after 28 days, I still have 1/2 bottle of Lantus left. Tossing that extra bit of insulin sucks.

Today I was rushing around like a maniac at lunch, ate a sandwich in about 3 minutes flat (real good, I know), folded some newspapers (I deliver the city paper every Thursday night in our neighborhood) and then finally checked my sugar - 58! I hadn't even done my humalog shot yet. So I guzzled a capri sun, which I really hate trying to get that damn straw in that juice bag because I always end up getting it all over me, and decided to head back to work after I was sure the juice had started working. I brought my shot to work with me and, well, got busy and didn't do it until about an hour later - and 262 points higher - I checked my sugar and it was 320! Good lesson about rushing around too much I guess.

I really would like to lose about five pounds for the summer. Sitting at a desk all day does not help that matter. Especially if I go low and end up eating candy or something. I have decided to bring juice to work with me, that way, if I get a low, I can just drink some juice instead of eating something with so many calories. I should have been doing that all along. Of course, I will keep some crackers in my desk drawer too.

Hard Lessons about Life

2006-04-26T14:56:00.000-04:00

Well, I haven't posted in a couple weeks. My grandpa became very ill the very night of my last post. He is 83 years old. He came down with an infection in his lungs because he tends to aspirate his food (everything he eats ends up being breathed into his lungs). So, he was on the ventilator and became well enough to get off of that. Now it is found out that he can't eat anything at all because he does not swallow properly. So he has been laying in that hospital bed with IV's all over him and his oxygen on, not being able to eat. He can't drink anything either and his mouth has been terribly dry.

Now today the doctor called and told me he needs to be put on the ventilator again and asked for my consent. He does have a living will and in that will he does not want to be sustained if he is in a permanently unconcsious state. Such a hard, impossible decision to make. My uncle wants him sustained for as long as possible to be sure there is no chance of recovery, which is absolutely understandable, but I think it is has come to that point. They are putting a tracheotomy in him today and after that, I think the feeding tube in his stomach. My uncle does not want to accept the fact that this may be it. His anger is directed towards the doctors and the nurses saying that they are not doing all they could be doing. I understand, I do. I just don't want to be putting my grandpa in such terrible situations either. It was his wish to only be sustained once. But my uncle, he doesn't want to let go and I just can't bring myself to go against him. I mean, eventually the anger has to fade, reality has to sink in and acceptance needs to take over. But it is his dad - it is hard to let go.

Why should I?

2006-04-14T08:58:00.000-04:00

Whenever I have a conversation with someone, who wears a pump, about my sugar levels, which are pretty darn good, I always get the same response: "Why don't you get the pump?" And then I hear, "I can eat when and what I want and I don't have to get up early to be sure to eat." Hmmmmmmmm........wait a minute, sounds too good to be true. But, then I think...... I CAN DO THAT TOO! Diabetes is so individual, that the pump, no matter how life saving and freeing it can be for one person, is just not for someone else. I just couldn't imagine, right now, having the pump attached into me. Maybe later in life, but just not right now. If I had trouble controlling my suger levels, then I would also consider the pump.

We have planned a trip to Disney in Florida with my family this July. We are going to be there for the July 4th stuff that will be going on. We have never been there and we are so excited to be going! I was thinking this morning that I haven't been to a place like that since I was diagnosed almost five years ago. All the walking and excitement. I will just have to do less Lantus before bed and less Humalog before meals. And of course, carry my little handy dandy backpack full of snacks and sugar filled drinks!

Come to think of all that has been and will be happening, this year is a very exciting year for us. We have purchased a new car, the Disney trip, we are having our house built and it will be done in August.....it is a wonder my sugar levels aren't going haywire with all this! I have noticed with all the excitement, however, that I have been eating less. Which isn't all bad because it couldn't hurt for me to lose about five pounds!

American Idol Update: My man Taylor is doing good! Elliott's diabetes was mentioned and I wasn't aware that he wears an insulin pump. Go Elliott! I just seem to like Taylor because he's different and he brings some excitement to the show.

Is it that much different?

2006-03-08T13:47:00.000-05:00

How different is my life now than 5 years ago when I didn't have diabetes? Is there anything I can't do now or anything I don't trust doing because of my sugar readings?

Honestly, my life is not different for the most part. I have to eat right but so should everyone. I check my sugar about 10x a day. It doesn't hurt and only takes about 6 seconds so that is about one minute taken up there. I do a shot before or after each meal which takes about 1 minute to draw up the insulin and inject. About 5 shots a day - 6-7 on a bad day full of correction shots. So about 7 minutes taken on that. If I have a low sugar, I eat a snack. If I have a mind numbing low reading of 50 or below, I have to take time out to sit down and drink some juice. Usually about 15-30 minutes is taken for that but thankfully that doesn't happen too often. In total about 20 minutes or less is taken on my diabetes care throughout the day. And, I make sure I do NOT think about it constantly.

I can't think of anything that I do not do now that I did before because of my diabetes. I just have to be more cautious........amusement parks, vacationing, the beach, etc., are all activities I still enjoy.

It is unfortunate that anybody should get this disease, let alone any disease. But we are fortunate enough to have the means of controlling it and not letting it control us. It is our choice.

Eat at your own risk...

2006-03-07T11:16:00.000-05:00

My diabetes hasn't given me anything to post about lately, which I guess is a good thing! I am thinking about switching my Lantus doses into two shots though. I have high numbers in the evening and towards morning which I end up taking more Humalog to cover. If I take 1/2 my dose in the morning, that should carry me through until bedtime, and then if I take the other 1/2 of my dose at bedtime that shoud carry me through morning? Kinda scares me to change anything up. Any advice from those who have done this?

I was reading yesterday about how much easier it is for a person with diabetes to live a more normal lifestyle because of the new insulins and devices we have today. I know that some who have had diabetes for a long time have a hard time grasping the idea that we can eat whatever we want as long as we dose for it. I would never say eat whatever you want, whenever you want but I think that the occasional sweet is a must have. It helps us keep our sanity (LOL) but I also think it actually helps us achieve better control by not making us think that certain foods are taboo. For me, if I think I absolutely cannot have a certain food - I want it more than ever! If I balance my diet and incorporate those foods such as sweets into my diet, I am not stressing out about it. And/or if I finally did get to have it, I wouldn't indulge and eat more than I should! Why can't sweets just be good for us? I want a carb-free chocolate chip cookie invented.

Diggin' in the trash...again?

2006-02-23T09:53:00.000-05:00

My husband and daughter have this saying, you know......"Don't leave ANYTHING laying around the house because it will end up in the trash." Well, true, to a point. I mean I don't throw away their shoes or cell phones or things like that, however, paper.........ahhhh, yes....papers laying around the house - coupons, newspapers, magazines, mail, these are the things I love to throw away. Nothing but clutter anyway, right?

I do have to admit though.......the other day I couldn't find my daughter's checkbook after I had fixed a few miscalculations for her and, lo and behold....I found it in the trash under a pile of old mail I had thrown away. Oh, and I have thrown away money more than a few times only to end up outside digging through coffee grounds and last night's dinner to find it. So, I guess I am not all innocent. I would probably be afraid I would throw away shoes and cell phones too!

And......un-used test strips. Damn. Yep, I did. But it really was an accident. You see, I picked up my test kit and it was unzipped and, unfortunately, the cap on the test strips wasn't shut either - so when I picked the kit off the kitchen table, a bunch of strips fell onto the floor. I just chalked it up as used test strips falling out and I quickly picked them up and threw them in the……….trash. Big sigh…Well, I didn’t realize until later that evening when I went to check my sugar that my test strip canister was empty and I knew that I hadn’t used the rest of the canister yet. And then I remembered…….and then I rushed to the trash can as fast as I could. Under the food and under the coffee grounds I did find some test strips that had shielded themselves under some papers. I think I picked about 5-6 out of the trash can, however, I think I threw away about 12 or so. It doesn’t seem like a big deal until I realize I am only allowed so many a month and it is a pain in the you-know-what to try to get them sooner than the refill time. So now I am trying to ration them.

My sugars have been higher than normal the past couple days as I have been trying to return to the non-celebration stage of after the doctor appointment. I also think I need to open my new vile of Lantus as my other vile has passed the 28 day mark by about five days. I try to use it as long as I can but then my numbers start to slowly creep higher and higher. I know that some use it for as long as possible after the supposed expiration date, and I try to, but can’t seem to get passed about 5-7 days.

Slackin' Off

2006-02-15T10:22:00.000-05:00

Ever since I recived the news of my test result being where I wanted it to be, I have celebrated a wee bit too much lately. Ummmm....chocolate chip cookies last night........too much ice cream and birthday cake over the weekend.....not checking my sugar as much as I was before my test. I knew I was going in to get "graded" so I was checking my sugar levels more than usual to be sure I didn't need a correction shot and if I did, I was right on top of it. I went to bed last night with a reading of 232! I was tired and I just went to bed anyways. I really don't like doing a correction shot before bed because I will usually end up low in the middle of the night. So I just skipped it last night. My usual reading before bed is around 140-150. A high like 232 doesn't happen too often before bed, but like I said...slackin'.

I wake up this morning with a reading of 208 and did my usual breakfast and usual shot and 2 hours later.........230. Oh well, I know why. I just need to get back on the diabetes track. Since I know I won't be going back to the doctor for a few months, I just tend to put my diabetes care to the wayside for a week or so after the strict control before the appointment. As Kerri mentioned........I should have celebrated my test result by going to the aquarium as well! But I don't think it is so bad to lax a little bit for a few days. It keeps us sane, I suppose. The constant attention to ourselves can be draining! So, my break is over! Salads, look out --- here I come!

When I do my injection of Lantus before bed, my siamese kitty Theo stretches up on my leg, reaches his paw out and touches the syringe while I am doing my shot. I used to think that this was cute but last night it kinda hurt! He also rubs against my legs exceptionally hard while I do my shot. I think he is just trying to comfort me, so I don't get mad at him! LOL

My injections don't hurt as much when I sit down. Does anyone else notice this? It must be because the stomach is more relaxed when sitting. I usually still stand up to do my injection just because it seems easier. Also, I tend to do my injection very slow. I am wondering if this adds to some of the sting I feel sometimes. I just cannot bring myself to stick that needle in my belly at record speed.

St. Valentines Day........

2006-02-14T14:57:00.000-05:00

I miss passing out Valentines at school. It was so fun. All the little treats we would get. The little card holder you would make out of a shoe box. Or just the plain brown paper bag that I would sit on my desk hoping the boy that I thought was cute would put a special card in my bag. Walking through the aisles being sure that I would put my SPECIAL card in the cutest boys bag without him seeing me. And then looking at all of them when you get home and cherishing the special ones. It was the best feeling to find out that the cute boy DID put a special little note on your card, even though he probably put them on all the girls cards! Being a shy girl in elementary school, that was a very special day for me. I could express my feelings for others on those delicate heart shaped cards with the colorful cartoon characters on them! It was the best.........

Yay - I win a prize.........a good A1C!

2006-02-09T13:56:00.000-05:00

I received my test results today. As I mentioned before, my last test result was 7.5 and I wanted to be under 7 this time. My result is 6.9. Yippee for me! I really am happy about that. All my other levels are good too. Whew...I am healthy for now! LOL

I have been trying to do those desk exercises here at work. Everytime I start to do something like stretch or ANYTHING.....someone walks in. So....I have resorted to butt crunches. I can do them just sitting here. I just tighten up my butt muscles and then let them loose. LOL I really don't want anyone to see me but if someone walks in, it is discreet enough that they can't tell what I am doing........but I do stop! I work around mostly older men so they would get a kick out of that, I'm sure!

This weekend is my daughter's birthday. She will be 19! Her last year as a teenager. We made it! We will be celebrating at my sister-in-law's house with the works. Ya know, all that stuff we shouldn't eat but do anyways.....cake, ice cream, junk food. I will have the cut up vegies and dip though - I do like some of the healthy stuff! And then Monday night we go out to eat at a place called Hoggy's....nice, huh? If I just keep my insulin doses straight, I shouldn't have any problems.

Diabetes Can't stop me.

Things have been pretty uneventful so not much to post about. And.....I have a ton files to put away here at work so I better get busy.

My doc appointment today......and Misc Junk

2006-02-06T14:41:00.000-05:00

Well, my doctor appointment is over.......[big sigh]. I just don't like to go. It has been 11 months since my last appointment! Way too long to wait. The most dreaded part is when the nurse comes in to take my blood. I have to watch the needle being poked into my vein. I don't want the surprise of it. It doesn't really hurt, but when I hear the blood squirting into that little vial.......yick...I have to look away. And if I could plug my ears and cover my eyes, I would. If I could run away screaming and hide, I would. But I got it over with. It really isn't so bad, after it's done. I think about it too much and that makes it all the worse. And, of course, we have to fast for those tests. So, what if I would have had a low blood sugar in the middle of the night - what could I have used (besides glucose tabs) to bring it up? Can we drink clear liquids like Sprite or something?

"Your HBA1C levels have been slowly climbing since onset", said the doc. I know, I know. "If it doesn't come down this time, we will have to adjust your insulin". The last test was 7.5. My family doctor is who I see for my check-ups. He asked if I had an Endo. I do, but it is just so much easier to go to the family doc because my blood gets drawn right in the office. At my Endo I have to go somewhere else and it takes more time, blah, blah, blah. My doc was asking me questions about what type of diabetes I had. Duh? Type 1 of course. I wonder why he asked that? And then I told him that my Endo actually said I was type 1.5. My doc laughed at that. It kind of frustrated me. I didn't respond. I just guess that the regular ole' family doc isn't as informed to all the the diabetes info as the Endo is. I might just have to start going to my Endo for the visits, afterall. I don't know yet. He checked my feet with the little vibrating metal thing.....all was fine. I pee'd in a cup to check for protein in my urine. What dang fun it all is! It all only lasts about 15 minutes tops. I will have my results in a week. Or should I say, my grade? I really hope, really, really hope it is 7 or under. But I am not stressing about it!

I was up late last night helping my daughter with a couple essays. Seems I am her editor-in-chief. Commas are her worst enemy. She doesn't like to use them. I have to remind her everytime. Her essays are really good and she gets good grades so if I have to force her to put those commas in, it is all worth it.

I want to get a house this summer. I am really hoping we can afford it. I know we can afford a certain monthly payment but getting the APR we want, might be a little tough. We just got a new car too. A Pontiac Vibe - we traded in a Pathfinder. I will really miss the room the Pathfinder had but I will not miss the gas hog. The Vibe is like a mini-SUV. It is nice. I have my stash of sweets and glucose tabs in a nice little compartment. Like it was made just for me!

The Super Bowl sucked last night........I don't really like either team but I did NOT want Pittsburgh to win. I stopped watching after awhile. I dyed my hair and took a shower. The refs really didn't know what they were doing. It was like they were nervous or something.

OH, I have to mention that I got DVR over the weekend - you know, like TIVO. I don't know how this TV junkie lived without it before. We can tape anything at anytime, two shows at once..........the DVR will record all episodes of a fave show by setting it one time. I LOVE IT!

Gotta get to work!

I love those little test strips!

2006-02-02T14:01:00.000-05:00

I am almost out of monitor strips - uh oh. I have three left to last until after dinner tonight. It is 2:00pm. My pharmacy said they would have them ready after 2:00pm but I can't leave work to go and get them. I suppose knowing they are there if I absolutely HAVE to go get them gives me some comfort. I waited too long to call them into the pharmacy as usual. I don't know why I do this. Maybe it is because half the time there is some problem and my insurance didn't authorize the 250 strips I get each month....saying that is too many. I have to call someone at the insurance company and get it straightened out. It happens about once every 3-4 months or so.

I am drinking coffee to try and have some energy today. I don't usually like to drink caffienated coffee because it gives me a jittery feeling - kind of like the symptoms of a low sugar episode - so I end up checking my sugar more than usual. I can't do that today with only three strips left so why...........am I drinking it....???

I want to share a handy dandy item that I used while at a waterpark last year. I had to buy this item because I did not want to be without my sugar checker while waiting in line at the waterslides and didn't know what to do with it while on the slide as it would get soaked. Well, first you have to have a companion with you that wears swimming trunks so probably a man (my husband worked well!) -- the swimming trunks have to have a large enough pocket to fit your monitor in and have a velcro or some other type of secure closure. And then, go to the camping equipment aisle at most any department store and look for waterproof camping bags. I was amazed at how well these worked. The ones I bought came in three sizes and one fit my monitor nice and snug. The velcro closure on the bag and the way that you fold the top to close it was very air-tight. He just slipped it in his pocket with a couple bags of fruit snacks and we were good to go! I felt very comforted knowing I had it with me. It did fall out of his pocket one time when I forgot to get it out when he went down a MAJOR big slide (which I did not go down!) and it was floating at the bottom of the slide - but no big deal - it was fine!

I just want to mention my "everyone-has-had-one" opinion on the new inhaled insulin "Exubera". I was excited when I first heard about this, very excited. But then when I heard some of the drawbacks, that ended any and all excitement I had. I also heard that those that are around second hand smoke shouldn't use it. Well, unfortunately, my huband smokes - so I guess it wouldn't be for me anyways. And I just can see, down the road, "Exubera - now deemed unhealthy as lung damage has occured in many users." Now that HASN'T happened, it is just what I can see happening. Of coure, hopefully not and Exubera will be found to be very useful. The 4-5 shots I do each day don't really bother me too much. Every once in a while I will get a stinger.......but usually I can't even feel the needle going in. And I rotate my sites and have no bruising. I, however, know that later in life or if I can't seem to control my blood sugars with the injections...........I will join the pumpers club!

Okay, on with my day.......and my three test strips .. ugh.............

A day in the life

2006-02-01T10:49:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I woke up feeling very groggy and tired. I went to bed the night before with a sugar reading of around 125. I had very weird, vivid dreams (which I wish I could recall so I could post them but maybe it's better I don't!) and remember waking up a couple times feeling strange but didn't check my sugar. When my alarm clock finally managed to wake me up, I decided I should check my sugar and my meter glared back at me.........54. I felt terrible. I had a splitting headache and was so tired I could barely manage to lift myself out of bed. I went down to the kitchen where my husband was drinking his morning coffee and I told him how I felt. He watched as I drank a glass of OJ. I wonder how low it actually dropped that night while I was asleep? I can usually sense when my sugar drops but maybe I was extra tired that night? I don't even remember hitting the snooze button the 8x it takes for it to finally give up on me. I am thinking I should probably sit my alarm clock where I have to actually get out of bed to turn it off. Maybe.......that would be alot of work for how many times I hit that damn button. ha. I didn't go into work until 1pm but felt much better.

Today, I was thinking about my initial reaction when I was told I had diabetes. I remember my vision being very blurry and I was thirsty ALL the time. I was taking Hi-C Juice in a glass filled with ice cubes everywhere I went. Great for the ole sugar but I didn't know what was going on at the time. I made an eye doctor appointment for my eyes. My mother-in-law has type 2 so I was curious of the symptoms. When she told me, I began to get scared. I went home and made a doctor appointment for that night. The doctor was in a rush, as they always seem to be. I told him my symptoms and he checked my sugar with a glucose monitor. He casually said to me, "You have diabetes", like he was telling me I had an ingrown toenail. Since he didn't sound concerned I didn't react. I asked him what my sugar reading was. He said it was 380. I asked what it should be and he said around 100. He left the room. I just sat there in shock not knowing what to think. He came back and handed me some papers that were telling me what to eat and what I shouldn't eat. He told me I had a CHRONIC disease. "What the hell is that?" I asked. "A disease you cannot get rid of. If you don't take care of it, it could cause death." Now I was getting scared. That is all he said. Then he sent me home with these papers and some prescriptions and me thinking I was Type 2. I cancelled my eye doctor appointment. My vision stayed blurry for about two or three weeks after my appointment and medication.

Needless to say, I changed my doctor after that appointment. Doctors just don't take the time with their patients anymore. I used to feel rushed and like I couldn't ask any questions sometimes. My new doctor is much more relaxed and listens and explains things to me. The office wait for him is a little longer but I know it is because he is taking the time with his patients, which is fine with me.

My Buddy - The Sugar Checker

2006-01-26T14:50:00.000-05:00

Well, here I go. Getting ready to walk over to the far-away office to get the daily mail. Actually, I am suppose to walk over twice a day but once is enough for me. I leave my office and walk the, I am guessing, almost 1/4 mile to the mailroom. Let's see.......before I leave do I have my glucose monitor...check - my can of Sprite in case I get stuck in conversation or heaven forbid the building should crash down on my head and I am trapped.....check - how about my cellphone in case I get low sugar and end up in the bathroom and have to call 911 or something.....check - okay...I think I am ready. Everyone knows why I carry all this stuff. It is all like my big security blankie; without even one of those things, my mind starts racing and I am more than likely going to end up with a terrible anxiety attack thinking that, for sure, my blood sugar will go low. Even if when I leave my sugar is fine. I am so used to carrying this stuff around that if I did leave without it, it would be like walking away without my clothes on.

I have forgotten my glucose monitor, or as I like to call it, sugar checker, several times. I have had to treat myself for a low even if I didn't have one because I "felt" like I was having one. Even thinking it is probably just an anxiety attack because I don't have my monitor but treating it as a low anyways. Finally getting my sugar checker, testing and seeing a reading of around 300. "Oh well", I think, "Better to be too high than too low." Which is true at times like that. And I have learned my lesson well because I never forget it anymore. My husband and daughter are always helping by asking if I have it before we leave to go anywhere.

And I have to admit.......something that really grosses out my husband and daughter is when I lick the very small remainder of blood off the tip of my finger after testing and then put the used strip in my monitor case. To me, it is the most convenient thing to do.

I think we all have some funny and maybe not so sanitary diabetes related habits that would probably gross out alot of people! Hmmmmm.......sounds like a fun day at the office.

Quote from my fave sitcom, Scrubs:

Turk: You know, I never get chocolate cake.
Elliot: Oh right, cause your diabetic. Boo Hoo. You know, Turk, if you want sympathy, get a disease you can see!

Wow - I haven't posted in eons!

2006-01-25T09:47:00.000-05:00

I haven't kept up on my posts at all. I was reading the Diabetes OC website and noticed I was listed under Diabetes with Type 1! I made it into the Diabetes Blogging Community and I didn't even know it! It feels so great to share with others, this so-called "disease" and laugh and cry and everything that comes along with it.

I am trying to lose some winter pounds that have padded themselves firmly onto my waist and thighs. I weigh 130 and am only 5'1" so it is only about 5 pounds I want to lose. Adding to the little problem is the fact that I sit on my rear all day at a desk. Now I have seen people demonstrate exercises you can supposedly do while at your desk, but, I just don't see me doing those exercises and having my boss walk through my office area. Some of them just aren't real discreet! But I know the other problem...going home for lunch and eating too much. Plain and simple --- I need to cut down on the portion sizes of my lunch and dinner. I am used to this routine of what I eat and how much insulin to dose for it so to change that up means I then have to learn how much insulin to use again for the lower portions of food. But I will do it. I will.......I will.

Monday I tried this little trick that I read on the Special K cereal box! Eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast and lunch and your usual dinner and you will lose those pounds. Well, yea....I tried that and I didn't know how to dose after lunch. Needless to say, 43 two hours after my lunch of cereal. Try, try again! But really, I didn't try it again! That just doesn't sound very healthy and it doesn't taste too good either!

Well, in a couple weeks I will be visiting my doc and getting the old needle in the arm for my HBA1c test. My last test was 7.5. It has risen every year since onset. I am really hoping it will be down closer to 7 or under. The problem I usually have is overnight. I get so scared that I won't wake up if my sugar goes too low that I go to bed with it too high and add to that the Dawn Sydrome where my reliable body kicks in some extra glucose to give me the energy to wake up in the morning. I don't understand why my body does this because it doesn't help. I still don't want to wake up and end up hitting the snooze button until I am sure the clock wants to jump off the nightstand and run away in fear. Then, 1/2 hour after I am supposed to get up, I am able to drag myself out of bed. So, I really wish I could tell my body, "No thanks - I really don't need that energy boost of sugar." I just need to learn to go to bed with a good number of around 140. I also set my fearless clock for about 1:30am for a check which also helps. I think I have been doing pretty good......we shall see.

More Education Needed for Police Officers about Diabetes

2005-05-05T07:51:00.000-05:00

This story amazes me - I understand they needed to use force but what about those guns that just zap you and knock you down? It seems they could have done something else. Education on this subject for officers that may come in contact with someone having a low blood sugar reaction would help. Talking a gun out of the hand of someone who doesn't know what they are doing in the first place is not going to work. Of course, he could have killed someone, I just think they could have done something else that didn't have to take his life. His wife did say he was having a low blood sugar reaction when she called.

Police: Appropriate Force Used To Shoot Man In Shock

Salida Police Had Little Option, Sheriff Says

POSTED: 8:13 am MDT May 3, 2005

SALIDA, Colo. -- A preliminary review found two officers acted with appropriate force when they shot and killed a retired corrections officer after his wife called 911 to report he was in diabetic shock.
Kenneth Clark, 60, who was described as a "pillar of the community," died early Sunday morning after a confrontation with two officers.
"It turned sour very quick and left them with little option," Chaffee County Sheriff Tim Walker said Monday.
Preliminary autopsy results were expected to be released Tuesday.
Officers Shane Garcia and Marc Morris, who were involved in the shooting, have each been suspended with pay pending the outcome of an investigation.
After Clark's wife, Nancy, called 911, the officers found Clark belligerent and aggressive, and waiving a handgun, police said. Nancy Clark said her husband was suffering from a diabetes-induced blood-sugar imbalance.
"The officers spent a number of minutes trying to de-escalate the situation, but he became more aggressive and very agitated," said Salida Police Chief Mark Mathies.
Mathies said Clark then pointed his gun at the officers, prompting them to shoot him. He died at the scene.

My new glucose meter stalks me!

2005-05-03T14:27:00.000-05:00

I got a new meter - the One Touch Ultra Smart. It keeps track of everything except what time I go to the bathroom! It is really keeping me in line with my sugar levels. It shows me what my sugar was before and after each meal and at night. It graphs all the readings and shows me where I need to be keeping the little dots (which are my readings) on the graph. Seeing the readings on a graph really is an attention grabber!

It shows me (if I enter the information) how much insulin I take with each meal, how many carbs I ate and all my averages. Every time I go to check my sugar I feel like I am telling it how I am doing today and it responds by telling me "oh really, look at this reading!". It is like it is alive. My little sidekick helping me stay on track. You can also enter information such as how you were feeling and/or how much you exercised when you took a particular reading.

It has a light on the screen, however, it doesn't have a light where you put the strip into the meter. That would be very helpful. The Freestyle Flash has a light on the screen and also where you place your strip to check. The One Touch Ultra Smart is alot bigger than the Freestyle Flash too with draws more attention to me when I check my sugar in public, which I shouldn't care about, but I do. Ah well, I will try it out for this month and see if I want to continue using it. I probably should.

My fasting levels have been too high the last few days. I woke up at 4:30am yesterday and was at 118 and then at 7:30am I was at 193! That good ole' dawn sydrome - gotta love it! Readings are good the rest of the day though so just need to work on that a little.

I had a low while grocery shopping on Saturday. Just walkin' around and it hit me! Anxiety, sweating, shaking. I took my sugar and it was 50. And I don't really trust these meters so I am thinking it could have been 30 or 70, all I know is that I felt really bad. I had to run and get a pepsi (make sure it wasn't diet!) and take it back to the shoe department where I sat down and drank half of it. I tried on a couple pairs of shows while I was waiting...anyways, after about 10 minutes I was feeling a little better so I checked it and it was up to 71 so I decided I should continue on my way. I was done shopping anyways. Passing out in the grocery store just doesn't sound like fun.

Make sure you have your Glucogon Kit (http://www.diabetes123.com/d_0n_022.htm) on hand at home kiddos. I have one in the drawer in the kitchen. It is nice to know it is there. They are good for about a year and then I always get a new one. When I get the new one, my husband and daughter practice how to mix and fill the syringe with the expired one, just so they are in good practice. I hope they never have to use that thing. The needle is huge!

Diabetes can't get me down........I won't let it.

There is some pretty interesting info on my links - check them out!

Random Stuff

2005-04-25T12:41:00.000-05:00

Well, it is a beautiful day outside after a weekend of snow, snow, snow! I want warm and sunny everyday!

Let's see - I just read about a supplement called Alpha-Lipoic Acid which is supposed to help with "preventing complications from diabetes. Specifically, alpha-lipoic acid may help to:

Treat symptoms of nerve damage in people with diabetes.
Preserve brain function in aging adults.
Prevent cancer.
Lessen numbness and tingling.
Protect the liver in cases of hepatitis and other types of liver disease.
Combat chronic fatigue syndrome
Reduce the incidence of cataracts"

Think I might look into this after I learn more about it.

Fasting sugar level was much too high this morning but I guess that has nothing to do with the Toffee Brownies my husband made last night. Why can't I keep my hands off of those things! One little bite turns into ten little bites. I don't do that often but I ate dinner too early yesterday and was pretty hungry before bed. I don't like to inject any Humalog before bed so, needless to say, high fasting this morning. Oh well! At least I know why!

Gripe for the week: Paula Abdul - enough okay! Who cares if she is drunk or on ludes or tripping on acid. The girl is wacky any way you look at it. She talks very strange as if her tongue is swollen, which I didn't notice until this year but, I DON'T CARE. I know she is strange and that's all that matters. Now if it was proven that she was drunk while taping American Idol - that would be a whole other story! hehe! What?

Thought for week: Treat others the way you would want to be treated yourself. Which doesn't translate into > Walk all over others, ignore them and cut them off while talking and you will be compensated nicely. Duh?!

Shout out for the week: Shout out to the new pope. Isn't he wonderful?! No explanation needed.

Reality TV quote for the week: Janu from Survivor returning from being stranded on an island by herself from being the first to lose in the immunity challenge. "But I couldn’t really eye-contact anybody. I didn’t really think it was being truthful. They were being truthful to being inquisitive on how it went. It was more like “Oh, that’s great, hey, good job, way to go” - the same people that were being rude and saying I created animosity on the day that we won the challenge. Just not nice. But it’s okay." Yea Janu! Mean people suck! Go Ian! Go Stephanie!

Things we take for granted

2005-04-22T13:21:00.000-05:00

THE SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present"Seven Wonders of the World." Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.

"The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the 'Seven Wonders of the World' are:

1. To See

2. To Hear

3. To Touch

4. To Taste

5. To Feel

6. To Laugh

7. And to Love."

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous! A gentle reminder -- that the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.

It's Not So Different

2005-04-22T11:02:00.000-05:00

Four years into this disease and I still haven't got it all figured out, but who does I suppose. Those spikes in my sugar readings 3 hours after eating pasta or pizza (my favorites!), those morning highs every so often if I don't carefully monitor what I have eaten the day before, those dreaded lows if I have a little extra activity than I normally would and more dreaded lows if I don't calculate my carbs properly in my meal, checking my sugar while I am driving because I feel "funny" and come to find out I guess I just feel "funny" because my sugar isn't low! Yes, Yes ----- all these things come with having diabetes. Oh, and there are many more things that I could get down on myself for because of this disease. However, I find that it isn't that different than before diagnosis although it may sound very different.

I take Humalog and Lantus - the Humalog I take before meals in which I "kinda" calculate my carbs to figure out how much insulin to give myself. My Lantus (24 hour insulin) I take 12 units before bed. I am usually pretty good with before meal readings being under 140 and after meal readings being under 140 as well. It is the nightime that gets me. Being afraid that my sugar will go too low while I am sleeping and I will just not wake up. oooooo ----Scary! http://www.mendosa.com/extendbar.htm But I set my alarm for 2:00am just so I can see how I am feeling and test my sugar if I feel the need. It is always fine.

Anyways, it only takes about 30 seconds to do a shot, maybe less ---- about 10 seconds to check my sugar and the meals I eat are the types of meals everyone should be eating. I can say with confidence that I am healthier now than I was before I was diagnosed. I do have to carry my glucose monitor around with me everywhere I go and take my insulin and syringes if I will be eating out but it just doesn't effect my life to the point where I feel like I have a disease. I just have to take care of myself more. My sugars may spike at times but as long as I keep them in a range that is as close to normal at all other times, I don't worry about losing my limbs or my eyesite just because I ate a piece of cake. I just can't have a piece of cake everyday!

Oh and stem cell research - a topic for another day. But check this out. http://www.diabetesnews.com/